ochimochi

Wed, 25 Aug 2004 14:20:12 GMT

I went out with Rick for dinner the other night. It was nice but I'm not going to get back together with him. I tired of the same cycle of getting back together, things going well for a while, then things start to get a little rough and we break up...all for me to repeat the cycle again and again. It's like a path that you know leads to nowhere, but whenever you come across it, you take it thinking it might take you somewhere this time. THE PATH IS NEVER GOING TO CHANGE! People will never change and a few weeks or months apart isn't going to change that. I'm tired of fooling myself into thinking that things will be okay when I know they won't. Whenever my friends are in this shitty relationship situation, I tell them to dump the asshole and move on with their lives. Well, I guess I have to do that for myself. It's time to move on with my life.

I think this guy that comes into my bar all the time is really good looking and the other day, he bought me a couple drinks when I finished my shift as we sat at the bar together for an hour and then we exchanged phone numbers. Who knows what will come of it but it's exciting nonetheless. I don't really have any expectations.

Blah, I'm at my internship right now and I'm so ready to be done with it. I am just not into this anymore and I'm ready to go back to school and be done w/ this thing. I feel like my supervisors don't have time to deal with me so they give me all this stupid shitwork to do that I think anyone could do. I just sit here looking up shit online for 5 hours a day and I'm not getting paid for it. Don't get me wrong - it's a great company to work for...but I thought that I'd be doing more important things, things that might teach me a lesson about the workforce or sociology or anything that I'm trying to learn. Instead, I've learned how to make doublesided copies and to print labels on MS Word. How exciting!?

Well, I'm gonna get up out of here for now because I'm sure there's SOMETHING I can work on for a little while. See ya!

Sad Day

Mon, 23 Aug 2004 02:04:55 GMT

I thought breaking up with Rick would be really, really shitty the first few days and then eventually taper off to me being happy without him. Well, I was completely wrong. Sometimes I don't think about him at all and other times, I sit on my bed and cry because I've given up the one solid thing in my life. It's like in Fight Club when Edward Norton tells Brad Pitt that when he bought a couch, he was done with that couch problem. No matter what else happened, he had that couch problem handled. I feel the same way about Rick. No matter what shit was going on in my life, I had that boyfriend thing figured out and didn't have to deal with it. Now, I don't even know HOW to deal with it. It's like a fucking smack of reality and loneliness in my face and I don't know where to turn for support. Rick has been my life for the past three years and I can't even move on because I'm so wrapped up in all the past memories and good times that we had together. I know I have good reasoning for breaking up with him, but now I miss the companionship that I had when we were together. I sit in my apartment for hours doing nothing at all because I just don't know how to fill the void in my life, which used to be filled with Rick. Granted, I shouldn't use someone for entertainment or anything, but still....it sucks from always having someone to love and then all of a sudden, being alone. I'm just so lonely. It's not that I'll never get over this, it's just that I miss being in love. Now, I'm all alone and unloved and in a weird way, unspecial.

I can't wait for school to start back. I think being surrounded by my sorority sisters and all my friends will make this loneliness a little more bearable. I just don't want to be alone my whole life and I feel like that's where I stand right now. I don't want to end up like my parents who don't even sleep in the same room anymore. I want to find my other half. :(

It's 3pm on some idle Tuesday

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 19:04:09 GMT

Ok....I don't know why I haven't been writing in this very often...but whatever. Not much has been going on. Just work and internship, and to tell you the truth, I'm getting tired of both. The internship just seems like it's lagging on. And Firkin? Oh my God, I can't even bear to go in there most of the time. The people I work with just piss me off so much. I like maybe 3/4 of them, but the 1/4 that I detest are the ones I'm usually working closest with. Unfortunately, I have to be there in an hour. Blegh.

I've been thinking, I'm totally ready for the fall semester to start back. I really miss all my sorority sisters and all our events like mixers and rush events. I finally get to go to the bar for Sweetheart Weekend and Bid Day! Plus, there is so much more to do around here when school starts and I'll have more friends around. The only negative thing is fall classes. Ick.

Well, I'm gonna go chill out for now. Peace.

Long time no See

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 04:34:17 GMT

I haven't been on here in forever so I just wanted to say that I'm still alive, but I've just been really busy. I went to D.C. for the weekend to visit my sister at her new house. It was really nice. She and her husband have the cutest dog, Sugarbear. This week I've been on the go most of the week. I'm really excited my night class is ending because I am tired of having that to deal with all the time. Well, I'm going to go to bed because I'm exhausted, but I'll try to write more soon.

It's been a long time since I wrote...

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 16:26:24 GMT

Well, I haven't written since Tuesday and a lot happened. Wednesday I had my internship where I made seed packets for the summer garden tour all day long. Then I came home and went swimming before I went to night class. Night class let out early which was a plus so I came home and my friend Matt from school came over. We went out to Firkin Tavern and met up with a bunch of people I knew there. We all sat at the bar and played trivia with Trivial pursuit cards. I don't know how, but we got on the topic of what the 5 oceans were (I always thought there was 4) and then that turned into what the 7 wonders of the world are. This one kid was doing research on his cell phone internet. It was so funny. After 3 bloody mary's, Matt and I left. We came back to my apartment, smoked a blunt and then he left.

Thursday was a little different. Rick and I had plans to go to Philly for the whole day. Well, we went down there around 12:30pm and both of us got brand new fishing poles. Then we went to my house and we were looking for reels he could borrow. I got the funniest video footage of us screwing around on my Dad's scooter thing. Unfortunately we got into a big fight and went back to NJ really early and didn't talk for 2 days. Kriston came over that night and we watched Legally Blonde on tv, smoked a little pot, and then went out to the bar. It was a fun night with her.

On Friday, they put me out in the garden at my internship to weed it for the midsummer garden tour that was to take place on Saturday. I got real sick with my allergies and then the skies opened up and the rains came down. Luckily, I got to go home a little early and shower since I had to go to my other job later that night. Firkin's was busy as hell that night and I was very excited to get home and hang out with Krystle, Jenna, Chris, and Matt for a while.

Saturday was the big day. The 17th annual Isles Midsummer Garden Tour. I got there at 11am to set up for the bbq at the last garden on the tour: Shard's garden. After about 2 hours I was told to go home, get showered and changed and all and to return at 3:30 for the actual tour. I came home, got ready, and then Rick finally called so we met at American Cafe' where I had the best drink ever, a Mango Colada. It was amazing. Then, I went back to Isles and we all boarded the bus to start our tour of all the Community Gardens in the city of Trenton (which is only 7.5 miles wide). The tour took four hours and we never left the city limits once. It was really cool to interact with all the different people who put so much work into these gardens, the youth who are part of YouthBuild (they build/renovate houses with us), administration, donors, and the actual community people who are affected by all our work. I had a real nice conversation with the Head of our Board of Trustees, spent a few minutes talking to the C.E.O. of Isles, and had a really great interview with one of the youth from YouthBuild. It was a really great day. I think my supervisors were proud of me for really helping out a lot and for getting really involved at the tour. It was such a great experience that I hope to help out with next year, through either volunteer work or a paid fulltime position. After the tour was over, I came home and went to a bar with Rick. We had a couple drinks and then came back here rather early since we both had to work today.

Well, that's pretty much my whole week in a nutshell. :) I guess I'll go get dressed to go to work now. See ya!

Umm...I don't know what to call this entry.

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 03:57:25 GMT

I had a pretty good day today. I slept in til noon, went out with Rick for lunch and shopping, worked at the tavern from 4-9:15 and then went out for drinks with one of the guys I work with. I bought myself a tackle kit and some lures and weights at Dick's Sporting Goods. I hope I get to go fishing soon. Bryan and I went to the All Call Inn tonight and while we were there, we played this game where you get a little computer thing and answer questions that show up on TV's around the bar. The first game we played, we came in first place but unfortunately we were 200 points short of first place on the second game. Each question is worth up to 1000 points so our loss wasn't really that big. The first question gave a few parts of an object and asked what the object was. The answer was a fishing reel and I knew it before the possible answers even popped up on the screen. Kinda exciting that the only thing I really know a lot about was the first question. :) One question came directly out of the text book I was reading at work tonight so I knew the answer immediately. :) Well, I have my internship at the crack of dawn tomorrow so it's time for bed. Ta-ta.

Partaaaaaaaaay

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 20:24:43 GMT

So, my party ended up being awesome! Like 25 people ended up coming and it turned out to be a real good time. Teresa brought over some liquor and made us all these amazing citrus drinks out of Orange Juice, Peach Schnapps, and Parrot Bay Mango. It was like one of the best mixed drinks I've ever had. :) The food came out perfectly and there was exactly the right amount. All in all, I have to say that everything ended up perfectly. We all drank, smoked, played drinking games, and then watched Donnie Darko at like 1:30am. I thought I was going to pass out at 2:30 so I got up and started cleaning and setting up my room so people could sleep over if they wanted. Schmeg, Teresa, Tom, Priscilla, and Chris all ended up staying the night. It was so much fun. Then we all woke up this morning at 10 (since I had to work at 11) and hung out for a little bit before we went our own ways. I must say I was very happily surprised at the outcome. Unfortunately, now I have a load of shit to clean up since I didn't clean before work...but it's all good. I can just go smoke my bong and then clean. Hehehe, it will make it much more bearable. :) Well, I'm off to do that now. Peace.

So tired of Fairweather friends...

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 21:59:57 GMT

So, I've been planning my birthday party for weeks and I let everyone know that I was having one....even when I wasn't sure of which day I was going to have it, I let them know the weekend. So why is it that 2 days before my party people decide to cancel on me? It's like people will tell you that they'll come to your party and then wait to see if something better comes along or something. Honestly, I think that's fucking stupid. If you tell someone you're going to go out with them, you fucking go out with them. You don't call them that day and cancel....or even worse, not call at all. (Oh, I guess this is where I'll stop to thank all you FRIENDS that told me you'd go out with me on my birthday and then didn't call or show up. That made me feel really good [sarcasm].) I'm so tired of putting all this effort into maintaining good friendships only to be walked all over by people whom I considered good or even best friends. Oh, I especially must express my distaste for all you fuckers who said you couldn't go to the bar with me on my birthday because you had to work early the next morning but were still up getting fucked up at 12 and 1am. Don't fucking lie to me! Just tell me you don't want to go and you'd rather sit in your room playing video games. I don't need friends like this anymore.

To the people who contributed in making my birthday wonderful and memorable, I greatly appreciate it and all that you do for me. It's good to see which friends really matter, who never did, and who never will.

Finally able to function again!!!

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 16:39:44 GMT

Hmm....maybe I should've taken Krystle's advice the other day when she told me that she didn't want me to DIE from 21 shots. LoL. Yesterday was probably the sickest I've ever been in my entire life. I couldn't lay down without getting sick but I couldn't sit up or stand either. I spent most of the day in the fetal position with my head hanging over my bed so I could spew in the trashcan. I didn't stop throwing up until around 8pm and then around 9 my Mom and I went to Starbucks and Shoprite. I thought I was going to get sick in Shoprite so I went out and waited in the car. Thank god I managed to keep it together and I didn't throw up. When we got home she made me some chicken broth with little bitty pasta stars in it. I ate that and then miraculously, I began to feel better. We stayed up watching Leno, Conan and Carson while we played this game called Bookworm online. We finally passed out around 2:30. My mom woke up at 9am and left to go home but I slept in til 12 and now I feel fine. Rick's getting ready to come over and spend the afternoon with me. :) So, I'm gonna go get dressed. Byeeee!!

Oh what a night....

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 22:43:04 GMT

Well....I ended up taking 21 shots in about 3 and a half hours. Needless to say, when I got home the waterworks started spewing and I have been throwing up ever since. It's nearly 6:45 on Wednesday evening and I've been sick all day. I even called my Mom to come up and take care of me because I was having chills and was dry-heaving for hours on end. It's been a loooong day. Well, I think I'm going to go back to bed for a while. Maybe I'll write more later....most likely not.

Happy Birthday To Me

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 06:12:48 GMT

Oh my god....21 is more fun than I'd imagined. I went to Firkin Tavern and my manager had a round of shots for my bday. We had red headed sluts. It was so cool. Then I went to Al's Airport Inn w/ Bryan and Kevin from work. From there, Brian and I went to McGuinn's and met up with Teresa and KATIEROSE!!!!!! I couldn't believe it. It was such a good time. Danny Prather was there too along with Teresa's friend Carly. So now I'm fucking wasted and I just realized I STILL HAVE 22 HOURS OF BIRTHDAY TO GO!!!!! So, now I'm going to go smoke a bong in celebration and watch TV til I pass out. Happy Birthday to me!!!!!

ONE MORE FULL DAY TIL 21!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 03:37:43 GMT

Today was an all around good day...except for the minor mishap with the Credit card. I got to go shopping, spend time with the fam, visit Rick at work, and hang out with Matt tonight. Matt brought over his cd's of the Kottonmouth Kings and we jammed to some pure stoner music while we hit a blunt. It was niiiiiiice.

Unfortunately, I have to get up early as all hell so I'm going to go to bed.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Fistal: "Don't do it!!!!!! I don't want you to die!!!!!!" This is what she said to me when talking about my 21 shots that I have to take on Tuesday.

More Birthday Fun

Sun, 11 Jul 2004 23:16:23 GMT

Tonight, my mom and I went shopping to pick up my stereo and then came home and sat on the back porch playing cards with Dennis til nearly 1:30am. My friend, Alex came over around 10:45 and hung out til about 1. It was really nice to see her and catch up because we don't get to see much of eachother anymore due to our very different schedules.

So now I'm just sitting here online and I think I'm going to go to bed. I just finished the novel I was reading so I have no excuse not to read the chapters in my textbook tomorrow that I need to complete by Monday. I guess I'll call Rick (who is out nightfishing right now) and say goodnight and then turn in. Talk to you manana

Me = Dumbest Person Alive

Sun, 11 Jul 2004 23:09:05 GMT

So, today while I was getting gas at the local Exxon in New Jersey, I was waiting to hand my credit card to the gas attendant and I was fidgeting with it on my car door. I accidentally dropped it down where the window goes when I open it. So, the gas guy tried to get me to leave my driver's license with him as collateral, have the car fixed, and come back later with the card to pay him. Finally, I called my Dad who had my latest statement from the credit card and he read off the number of the card and we manually punched in the numbers. It was such a hassle. Oh well, now I'm back at my apartment and I have so much organizing and cleaning to do since I went to Ikea today and went crazy spending birthday money. HeHe.

Pre-Birthday Celebration

Sun, 11 Jul 2004 06:48:18 GMT

Today went really well for me. Needless to say, I did NOT make it to the meeting for my internship. My legs were throbbing beyond belief and I knew I had to sacrifice one or the other: internship or job. So, naturally I picked the one that PAYS me and went to work. Luckily, I was able to sleep an extra 3 hours because I didn't work til 11am and let me tell you, the extra rest was much needed.

Work was slow as all hell today, four restaurant customers in 5 hours, although the bar was hoppin. It gave me some time to read and hang out with my co-workers. I work with this one girl, Rachel, and she needed a ride to Newtown after work so I offered to take her since it was on my way to my parent's house. We hung out at my place for a little bit while I packed my overnight bag and then we went on our way.

When I got home, the whole family was there along with some family friends and my mom had made a really nice meal to celebrate my birthday. We ate the flounder and weakfish that Rick and I caught while we were in Wildwood. It was so good! On top of that, she made me a red velvet cake which is my all time favorite cake. I got a card and some money along with a really beautiful plant from my Dad, a new stereo from my Mom, and a really neat Ecuadorian Inscense burner which my sister bought for me at a market in Ecuador. It's an akll wooden upright one which has a face on the side which really resembles Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter. Hence, I named it Albus.

Just....Need....Bed....

Sat, 10 Jul 2004 03:25:50 GMT

I am so fucking tired I don't know what to do with myself. It was pretty busy at the Firkin Tavern tonight AND I had to stay until 9:45 with NO meal at all because I didn't have time to stop and eat.

I'm so tired and I'm so cranky and all I want to do is just pass out. I think that's what I'll do.

Fahrenheit 2305920

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 19:47:10 GMT

IT'S HOT AS SHIT! I wish I could be sitting out by the pool right now but unfortunately I have to go to work in 5 minutes. Internship was good today, I went to a meeting on how Isles is going to help in getting people from the Old Trenton Neighborhood to register to vote, and then to get them out to vote on Election Day. It's really excited to get involved with the election....especially since Trenton is predominantly democrat. WooHoo!

I started my new night class last night called Youth & Crime. The teacher was cool and let us out after 45 minutes in what was supposed to be a 3 hour class. We only have 2 tests and a couple in-class assignments. NO HOMEWORK! That's a HUGE plus.

Well, I'm off to Firkin's now until 9 and then hopefully going out w/ Rick for a little. Yay, I can probably grab a bite to eat while I'm working since all I've eaten all day is a bowl of cantaloupe for breakfast. I'm staaaaaaaaaarving. Talk to you later.

Good Advice From Pete

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 17:13:59 GMT

WaRPeDNBoReD (2:02:51 AM): Remember when life hands you lemons you can always flip life off, break a bottle on the table, go after life's face (being sure that you're calling it a cunt) and then tossing life down a staircase cuz bitches who front get fucked in the ass no matter who's life it is;-)..... Good morning/Kill White People! :-D

That was what I woke up to this morning when I checked my computer before I promptly walked outside to see that my car has a flat tire. The fucking cap came off (or was stolen or some weird shit) and the air was nearly all gone. Luckily, I have a handy boyfriend who is coming over to help me out. How sweet of him! :) So now I'm just sitting here waiting for him to get here so Potticus Finch (my car) and I can go run errands. Well, I'm off.

Long Ass Day!

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 03:09:44 GMT

It's always hardest to get up at 8am on the first day. Please God let it get easier! LoL. My internship was cool today,lots of reading but interesting stuff. I started night class tonight. Youth and Crime.....lol I get to learn about juvenile delinquents. Luckily, Dr. McDowell let us out early.....2 hours and 15 minutes early. Hell yeah! So, I watched How High and just chilled pretty much tonight. I'm so sleepy. I think I'm going to just go to bed and hopefully get a good sleeping schedule started. Goodnight.

Weird Ass Day!

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 01:56:42 GMT

So, today started like most others... I woke up, got stoned, and just hung out. Then, I went to work.

I really like my job a lot, the people are so nice and it's such a relaxed atmosphere.....well, I guess most bars are. The only thing that sucks about working in a bar is the weird drunks that really have nothing better to do than hang out and drink all afternoon on a TUESDAY!!!!! This one guy, Sebastian, was staring at me for a while and then decided to come over and say hi. Well, I guess he just didn't get the hint that I wasn't interested (especially in a guy who comes to a bar regularly to drink with his Mom) and he kept on bugging me. Finally, he was like "So, you want to exchange info or somethin?" What is this, middle school?! I felt like we'd had a car wreck or something and were going to exchange insurance info or something. Last time I checked, you don't hit on someone by suggesting to exchange info. This is where I finally was like, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend of nearly 3 years." From then forward, he kept apologizing to me and saying that things may change and shit. It was so weird. He even told my co-worker that he was "shot down like a mother-fucker." LoL.

So, now I'm home and I think I'm going to throw on my pajamas and watch TV and be lazy for the rest of the evening. Unfortunately, I must work at my internship at 9am. Rick said he's going to come over when he gets home from fishing in Seaside, but I doubt he will. I hope he proves me wrong because I want to snuggle and watch TV or something. I was supposed to hang out with Janna, but I can't get in touch with her. :( Oh well, hopefully another time soon.

Hmm....maybe I'll go hit the grav. Yep, I think that's a great idea. Grav hits and dinner. Ahh, a perfect match.

Oh, my birthday party is set for Saturday, July 17th. I can't wait. I really hope a bunch of my friends come because I miss them and don't get to see much of them in the summer.

Well, I'm off. Talk to you tomorrow.

Wake~N~Bake

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 17:35:34 GMT

Gooooooooooooooood Morning all! Well, I suppose I should say good afternoon since it's 1:30 but it's morning for me. I slept so well last night! My bed is seriously the most comfortable thing in the entire world. So, Lauren and I just had a wake-n-bake and I feel grand....except for the fact that i have to work in 2 and a half hours. Blegh. Oh well, time to go enjoy being stoney. Talk to you toniiiiiiiight. :)

Wow, Suprisingly good day.

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 04:08:17 GMT

Today ended up being quite awesome.

My big sister in my sorority, Kriston came to visit me today. We had a few gravhits, some mariokart, watched How High and went out to dinner. Then, our other sister Lauren came by. The three of us enjoyed a nice blizzy and then Kyle, Matt, Data and Beazer came over. It was a real fun night.

Well, I'm off to get more stoney and then pass out. Lauren's staying over! Yay! Unfortunately Kriston has to go home for a dentist's appointment. Well, I guess I'll write more tomorrow.

Sleep well...

Ahhh....Bear with me....

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 07:18:57 GMT

I'm trying this new software so I don't have to go through Internet Explorer everytime I submit an entry....but I really have no idea what I'm doing. Eek.

So, I went to Atlantic City today for the 4th of July with Rick. Unfortunately I lost the last 50 bucks I have until I get paid. Not cool at all. Oh well, at least I didn't lose 200 like Rick did. Rick's family was at the Showboat Casino so we all met up for dinner and a little gambling and then went our separate ways. It was a nice trip even though Rick and I were both cranky the whole time. The whole drive home we kept seeing Fireworks all across the state. It was really nice, a nice evening for a drive.

So now I'm back at my apartment and I'm getting ready to pass out because it's 3am and I need to start going to bed at more normal hours. I will post again tomorrow. Goodnight.

Greetings

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 06:46:14 GMT

So, I decided to jot down some of my thoughts and experiences and I guess this is a cool way to do it. So, yes, I've started an online journal to regale drunk, stoned or just plain bored college kids in the middle of the night when they're sitting bored at their computers idly looking at buddy info, sub-profiles, and live-journals....because other than that, not many people read these things....at least in my experience. Well, that's about all I can say in greeting. If you wanna read my shit, cool. If not, cool.